I love diversity. I enjoy going against the grain and not conforming to people’s expectations. I’m for embracing truth within and without. I’m just not sure what the truth is regarding gender and transgenderism. I question whether the current societal and cultural narrative speaks truth and really encourages diversity and freedom.
Over many months and years of searching to find other similar voices, I have pulled together a collection of individuals who are questioning the narrative. Keep in mind that none of these sources are conservative or religious.
Transgender Trend: Parents Questioning the Trans Narrative is a group of parents in the UK who believe that setting a child off towards medicalization with irreversible life-long effects is an experiment that has no precedent. Highlighted on their blog, “Transgender Children and Young People: Born in Your Own Body” is a collection of essays about the current theory and practice of transgendering children. The essays come from varied sources: social theorists, psychotherapists, persons living as transgender, detransitioned individuals, gay and lesbian adults, and parents of adolescents identifying as transgender. “They conclude that today’s medical and social trend for transgendering children is not liberal and progressive, but politically reactionary, physically and psychologically dangerous, and abusive.”
4thWaveNow is another blog community of parents and others concerned about the medicalization of gender atypical youth and rapid-onset gender dysphoria. They state their purpose as, “to give voice to an alternative to the dominant trans-activist and medical paradigm currently being touted by the media.” In a blog post from November 2017, a 14-year-old biological female recounts her 2-½ year experience with transgenderism. The post is titled It’s not conversion therapy to learn to love your body: A teen desister tells her story.
Third Way Trans is written by a biological male who identifies as transgender. He transitioned and then regretted it and detransitioned. He believes adults should have the right to choose whatever path they want, including transitioning. He just wanted to be a voice to those who didn’t want to transition, or who wanted to detransition, to ease their suffering like he wished his would have been. When I went back to visit the blog today, I came across only one post titled Finale. Even though it’s the only post still accessible, it’s well-written and shares valuable perspective. I exchanged emails with him back in April of 2016 regarding my first twin. He was kind and brief in his reply. I thanked him for his bravery to tell his real-life story.
In an interview of internationally renowned American social critic, Camille Paglia, she discusses gender as part of a longer interview on feminism. “The transgender definition has become a kind of convenient label for young people who may simply feel alienated culturally for many other reasons….Today you are encouraged to think that your alienation is because you are not totally identifying with your particular inherited gender in your definition.” The more Camille explored androgyny, the more she realized that all throughout history it occurs in late phases of culture as a civilization is starting to unravel. She sees that happening currently in the fascination with the transgender movement in our own culture, while there is a massing of heroic masculinity on the outside fringes in our world. She questions whether the transgender choice is genuine in every single case, but more importantly is concerned when well-meaning adults believe they are helping people when they make it easier to facilitate some permanent change in the body from which there is no going back, for example through university support of services through their campus health plans.
Another fascinating blog is simply called Trans Blog, with many excellent posts from a transgender woman who has chosen not to transition medically. The post I am linking to is from 2013 and is entitled, We need support to not transition, but the blog is up-to-date with posts from just this month as well.
Finally, a youtube video by Cari Stella, an articulate 22-year-old woman who transitioned for seven years, then detransitioned. Starting with advice for parents of dysphoric teens, she spends the remaining time in the 15-minute video sharing her perspective on why transitioning might not be the only and best answer based on her personal introspection. (Be aware, language advisory.)
Here are a few excerpts that seem insightful to me.
“When we take this huge cluster of feelings, and experiences, and ideas, and we put that all in this little box that we label dysphoria, I think it cuts off our ability to really understand and to dissect all of these different parts….Those feeling manifested on the surface as this disconnect, this discomfort, with femaleness. I think it can be really hard to figure it out, because you have to be able to look past those thoughts and feelings that you’re having and not take them at face value. And that’s very hard to do because these are very compelling ideas especially when you have this set-out set of steps that’s going to make everything better. And when you’re so disconnected from yourself, when you’re so dissociated from yourself, the idea of that kind of introspection of getting to know yourself better, really being present in your body, really being present with the thoughts and feelings that you’re having, it can be really daunting.”
“What I want to get across is to stay critical and to keep questioning, because I think that complacency of taking yourself completely at face value…is something that really inhibits growth, that makes you stagnant, that limits your ability to call out inconsistencies in your own narratives, that limits your ability to call out inconsistencies in other people’s narratives about you.”
“Be critical and explore and make the best decision you can. Don’t stay there once you’ve made that decision. Stay critical. Even if you’ve already made your decision, if you’re already committed to transition, stay open, listen to yourself.”
“The best advice I can give is to stay curious.”
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